Summary: If you were on a boat that would blow up in the air within 35 minutes, what would you do? Would you come clean with all the shit you’ve done in your life so that you can go to heaven in peace, or would you show your secret love just what you feel for them? (Not a death!fic)
Disclaimer: This is real, yeah. And Gerard Way is hundred percent straight. Feh sure.
Beta: lemmethink_nooo and reciprocon ♥♥♥
Word Count: 4 702
Author Notes: This is based on the book ‘Naar JernTeppet Falder’ by Jonas Lie. Never read? Me neither. And I probably never will. It’s an ancient, Norwegian book by an even more ancient, Norwegian writer. My teacher told about in class, and I couldn’t wait use the plot in a fic. Seriously, I couldn’t stop grinning. My mind is set on Frerard twenty-four/seven. Credit to skittlesnfrank for the icon.
Warnings: Panic, overwhelming confessions and love making.
Soundtrack; Titanic Soundtrack - Hymn To The Sea
The ship reminded him so much of Titanic that Gerard could feel the tears welling up in his eyes just by looking at the gold-frosted doors, the ornamental carpets and the old, carved wooden furniture (yes, he would admit that flaming, and hidden, homosexuality came with quite a few girly emotions to cope with, and he just couldn’t even fucking stand thinking about that Kate and Jack never grew old together. Fucking empathy, damnit). He mentally thanked Brian for deciding that they needed a break from all the air planes and stressed airports for a while. And since they had two days for them to go from the show in New York to the one in Ireland, he had booked them on a ship to do the trip instead. It would be so great to avoid the jet lag and spend some relaxing days on this dream of a boat to gather some much needed strength for the tour in Britain. They had toured non stop for almost a month now, and playing shows almost every night. Yes, relaxing was much needed.
Oh, if he’d just known that relaxing would be the last thing he’d be thinking about on this trip.
He wondered how Brian had managed to find this ship, though. Never had he heard about a reconstructed Titanic that followed the exact same route as the original. He had heard talk about such an idea on the television before, but had expected that if they went though with it, there would at least be some news. But heck, he never had the time to watch the news anyways, so they'd probably just missed it. It didn’t really matter anyway, as they were all --the band along with Mikey’s wife, the genius manager that couldn’t stop grinning and their awfully huge security guard-- walking down the carpeted hallways looking for their suites.
“There weren’t many left, so you have to share in pairs. Mikey and Alicia got one together of course. You have to fight about these two, guys,” Brain said as he tossed two pairs of keys to the four remaining band members. “The crew goes in here,” he joked, meaning himself and Worm. Bob and Frank were the ones to grab each their flying key, so when they unlocked the doors, Gerard followed quickly in after Frank (just because that was the one suite closest to where he was standing at the point, seriously. Nothing to do with Frank’s delicious and oblivious ass at all).
“We’ll just leave our bags and go for dinner, aight? I’m dying if I don’t get any food right this minute,” said Worm.
“You are always dying to get some food, Worm,” Ray giggled so that his bulky hair bounced around his head.
“This time it’s serious shit, I mean it,” he got as a response.
“You guys can go eat. It’s in the fourteenth floor, okay? I’m heading for some much needed sleep,” Brian yawned before walking into the ‘crews’ suit’ with a wave of his hand.
“Fourteenth floor, huh? Shouldn’t be too hard to find,” Mikey shrugged as they went in the direction where they had seen the old (and deadly, if you chose to listen to a poor, claustrophobic drummer) elevators.
They looked around in awe as they passed lounge after lounge on their way through the antique hallways. There was something really odd about this place, they had to admit. Maybe it was the fact that they’d seen it all before, in a masterpiece of a movie that you had to have a heart of stone not to get moved by watching. It really, really looked like the original. It had this old, undisturbed and sad aura too it, almost like it really had been existing for centuries without anyone inhabiting it, except from the thousands of poor souls that had died on its virgin trip. It could make anyone shudder. And where was the crew? Except from the antique little man that had welcomed them on board, presenting himself as the captain and wishing them a good trip with a little, toothless grin, they hadn’t seen a single soul not being a passenger. Odd, yeah, that's what it was.
Four hours, three dishes and a few bottles of expensive, red wine from the buffet later they all sat around a huge table in carved, old mahogany, too tired and well-fed to utter a word. The enormous dinner hall was packed with other passengers, and Gerard couldn’t stop grinning at how similar it was to the one in the original ship. He began to wonder if he had seen the beloved movie way too many times just when the old-fashioned speakers started to sparkle. All the humming of content and happy conversation in the room died out, everyone anticipating hearing what the captain, or whoever it was, had to say. The raspy, slightly evil voice that creaked out and cut though the air like a knife didn’t sound much like the nice captain who had welcomed them on to the ship earlier, though. It made a wave of shudder and goose bumps flair though the mass of people who suddenly shared surprised and concerned glances.
“Good evening, my ladies and gentlemen. I really hope you found the meal enjoyable. God knows it’ll be your last. You haven’t found anything the slightest bit odd with this scenery, have you? You are way too silly for that, you group of fools! You see, there’s a bomb placed neatly down by the machinery. You got thirty-five minutes left of your unworthy lives on this earth before it blows you all up to bits and pieces. Then it’ll all be over, and the world will be free for your dirty lives, at last. I hope you’ll make the best of your time, now that you got the chance. Just try to call or signal for help, it won’t work, I promise you. There are no rescuing boats to escape in, just check. Just jump - you will die anyway. We’re in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean by now. No one will find out before it is too late. Way too late. Good night.” The speakers sparked again, before they died out.
…and then panic.
Wide eyed, doubtful and panic glazed looks were shared, crying was heard and few women even screamed in fear and fled the dinner in sheer panic. Around the table of our eight friends, not a word was uttered.
Was this a joke?
The first one to move was Worm, God was he the one with a sharp brain and cold mind, as he grabbed his phone from his pocked and dialed a few numbers before he pressed it to his ear. The other ones eyed him in hopeful silence.
After several agonizing seconds, Worm’s eyes shut, his phone hitting the floor with a splintering sound that was barely heard over the worried and terrifying voices and movements that now filled the room as his hand fell limp by his side.
“Oh my God,” Ray whispered. “Oh my God.”
Mikey embraced his crying wife, Bob laid his head on the table and covered himself with crossed arms and Ray continued to whisper the same phrase while staring motionless out in the air. Worm's hand was in the same position by his side as he muttered something that sounded like ‘how could this happen? I told him this sounded like bullshit. I told him.’ Frank shivered non-stop while gripping the table end so hard that his knuckles turned white, and Gerard couldn’t stop watching him, scared as shit. He hated to see Frank so scared, he always had. Oh, how he wanted all this to be a joke so that he could see a smile on that face of his again…
Frank pushed himself away from the table so fast and with so much force that the chair rolled several meters over the floor behind him. He stood upright and still for a few seconds, before he fled in direction of the elevator. Gerard yelped before he got up too and ran after him, screaming for him to stop.
“Shh, shh, It’s okay. It’s just a joke, I promise,” Mikey whispered into Alicia’s long, black strands of hair. He wasn’t quite sure who of them he was trying to comfort the most.
“Can it be? We knew this ship had something weird about it. And the phone really doesn’t work!” she shrieked, looking, panicked, into her husband's eyes that were just as scared as hers. “Thirty-five minutes, Mikey! That’s almost as long as we’ve had together so far.” This was nearly true, Mikey thought bitterly. They had just shared two months together as a married couple. He had thought it would be the first two of a thousand. How more wrong could he have been?
“I know, honey, I know,” he shushed.
“And we're going to have a baby! A Goddamn baby, Mikey! I found out last night, but I thought it would be perfect to tell you when we had a romantic little suite to ourselves. Blown up before you even get the chance to breath in some fresh air, that’s what we wanted for our kid, huh?!” She started to break down for real, now.
Well, Mikey thought, shit.
As he started crying too, the priest (judging by his outfit) started doing some with desperate prayers while his family cried and prayed along.
“I love you, Alicia,” was all he could manage to say. His voice was raspy, his throat so dry that it hurt just to breathe. “I love you.”
On the other end of the table, the so long limp and motionless Bob sat up in his chair before he stormed off out on the open deck, closely followed by Ray who looked just as scared as everybody else.
”I will never get to say goodbye to Krista, Bob,” Ray muttered beneath his tears as they stood leaned against the rail in the front of the deck. “I had decided to finally tell her that I loved her and all.” Bob, who wasn’t much of a man for affection, patted his back and hugged him close. People were screaming and crying openly all over the deck, telling each other ‘I love you’ or confessing each others’ darkest secrets without caring that everybody heard. What would it matter anyway? Thundering on the staff doors was heard, though it was to no use; they were all locked off. Every now and then one could hear splash of water as hopeless souls had thrown themselves off board desperately, either for a quick death or a faithless hope for survival. The ship was all chaos.
One peaceful place though, was the suite that Frank and Gerard shared. At least it was peaceful, until the door was ripped open and two bewildered persons stormed inside. The smallest of the two threw himself onto the bed and started sobbing into the dark, velvet sheets and the other laid down beside him to comfort him with lowered words, warm hugs and ‘It’s going to be okay’s that he didn’t even believe himself.
“I’m too fucking young to die, Gee!” Frank cried. The two sat now upright on the bed in a tight embrace.
“I know,” Gerard whispered into his hair while stroking his back carefully. Oh, how he dreamed about one of those bright smiles. When he had dreamed about holding Frank like this, he for sure hadn’t dreamed it was because they were about to die. When he dreamt, it would be because he had just confessed his deep love for the smaller man, and he had been rewarded with one of those wonderful smiles and mutual confessions and maybe even a tear. Well, there are at least tears, he thought.
He loathed the tears on Frank’s fair, soft skin. It wasn’t that they didn’t make him look even more glisteningly angelic than he already was - he loved them for that - but he’d never been able to stand seeing Frank like this. So desperate, with agony seeping out of his skin and into the warm, cozy air. All he wanted was to wipe the tears away with his thumb and tell him that he loved him and that all he needed was this little confined suite and him. ‘Cause that was all Gerard ever needed. He wanted to tell him that they’d belonged together and that that they would be so forever, though in the afterlife. And that was all he really wanted; eternity with Frank. By now, Gerard was wondering where the hell all these deep thoughts and feelings came from. He guessed this was just how you acted when you were so close to your death.
“There are so many things that we haven’t done, Gee,” Frank whispered, awaking Gerard from his thoughts by looking him into his eyes, their foreheads resting together there they sat on the bed.
“What do you mean?” Gerard’s voice was barely a whisper too, by now. Why were they whispering? For sure, no one could hear them. They could hear screams and cries from the other terrified passengers outside, so no one would have been able to hear their conversation.
“We are so young. There are so many places we haven’t been, so many things we haven’t said and so many things we haven’t done, Gee.” The tears were running freely down Frank’s cheeks now. Could he mean-- ? It was it possible that…? Gerard couldn't even really think about it.
“I love you,” Gerard breathed out, looking sincerely into Frank’s eyes. He still held a firm grip around the smaller body’s torso, so close, so close that he could feel Frank’s warm breath on his skin, and it was all pure bliss. He had to say this now. He knew he wouldn’t get another chance - I hope you’ll make the best of your time, now that you got the chance - so he just blurted it out. “I love you, I always loved you and I’ll love you forever.” Oh God, did that come from his own mouth? ‘Days of our Lives’ wasn’t on the television now, was it?
But he had said it, and Frank had heard it, and they were now looking into each others’ eyes with so many expressions and emotions that neither of them could separate one from the other. They were inches away, barely, and closing in the little distance so fast that it was happening without either of them really realizing it.
And then they kissed.
The sunset was bathing the ocean and the ship in an orange, red and purple satin-like curtain of colors. Where Bob and Ray stood leaned against the rail, crying silently and desperately, they had to admit it was the most beautiful scenery they’d ever seen. And they cried and hugged each other even more when they came to realize that it would be their last.
“This isn’t fair, Bob,” Ray cried into Bob’s rough shoulder. “Why do we have to end now? Without the slightest chance to ever make up for all the things that we have done?”
Bob didn’t have another respond to that than silent cries into Ray’s curly mane.
“If not…” Ray whispered suddenly into Bob’s shoulder before leaning away to look at him. “…we can make up for it now?”
Where Mikey and Alicia were still sitting in an embrace by the table, Mikey was having the exact same thoughts. How could he go into the afterlife without being all clean and free from his conscience? The speaker's voice haunted him, playing over and over again in his mind. I hope you’ll make the best of your time, now that you got the chance. His conscience was anything but clean. He couldn’t let it end like this, could he?
Gerard could barely breathe where he sat on the bed, clinging onto Frank like it was for dear life. And really, it was. Emotions of all kinds flew through his mind, all happy and content buzzes of things like ‘oh my God, this is happening’ or simply just ‘yes yes yes yes yes!” They were intertwined, all limbs, skin, hands and lips and tongues. Frank tasted so sweet - sweeter than he’d ever imagined, and he smelled so good and just simply felt so good too. Gerard might have been about to die, but it certainly didn’t feel like it. After moments of heavy kisses and breathy gasps and moans, Frank broke away a few inches to look at him. He let his hands fall from Gerard’s hair to grab and lift up his hands and hold them up - palm against palm - by their sides.
“This would be the perfect end, wouldn’t it?” Frank breathed, panting slightly. Gerard didn’t respond, not with words anyway, but gave a little nod and pushed Frank down to lie on his back on the mattress, resuming their kisses again and climbing softly on top of him.
Mikey couldn’t keep it in him anymore. Things couldn’t end like this, he had to get clean, and he had to do it now. The old, ornamental clock on the wall showed that he only had twenty-five minutes left to do his confessions, so he just had to gather up the confidence, and he had to do it now. Alicia had stopped crying by now and lay uneasily in his arms, obviously in deep thoughts too. Just as she rose from her position to look at him, to say something, he spurted out with it before he got too weak.
“I slept with the hairdresser, Alicia,” he more breathed that said. She looked at him fully now, and closed her mouth quickly as he spoke before her.
“What?” she growled, her voice stern with anger. That whore? He must be fucking kidding.
Before Mikey got a chance to utter some dumbfounded excuses, she spoke what she had wanted to tell him the last few minutes. I hope you’ll make the best of your time, now that you got the chance.
“I slept with your brother,” she snarled. “The day before we got married.”
They were about to start shouting at each other, when they were interrupted by a desperate and high pitched voice from the table beside them.
“I steal money from the church!” the priest screamed. His crying family shut up immediately to look at him with disbelief. “I steal money from God’s house! Which I’ve made an oath to serve!” he was screaming loudly now, before kneeling on the floor with his hands raised together in a prayer in front of him. “Please lord, forgive me! I didn’t know what to do; we were so poor, with five kids and all.”
Mikey, Alicia and Worm all looked at each other in silent shock. This night surely couldn’t get any more absurd.
It obviously could.
“I’ve done that too!” Worm screamed out over the desperate pleas from the priest. “I steal money from your budget,” he cried, looking at Mikey so desperately.
“I couldn’t have dreamt of a better end than this,” Frank whispered lovingly into Gerard’s hair as he pulled the other man’s shirt over his head. Gerard nodded vigorously as he lifted his arms up to allow the fabric to separate from his now sweaty skin. Their heated make-out sessions had made him beyond excited, and they were both sweating so heavily that he could see the dew from the steam covering the little window over the bed.
“Me neither,” he whispered back as Frank’s shirts too were shed. God, for how long hadn’t he longed to study the wonderful body art that covered his lover, so close like this? He kissed trails down Frank’s jaw and neck to attack the artwork with nibbling teeth, a trailing tongue and wet sucks. He loved how it made Frank writhe and moan and pant underneath him with every touch. Fumbling hands, nails and moving limbs came into the picture as the rest of their clothes were shed, rolled delicately of off sticky, heated skin. Gerard gasped in awe when he was finally skin on skin with this man. Not even when he had dreamed about having Frank naked and hard and willing like this, had it ever been this perfect.
After more kissing and sucking and spit-slicked fingers in tight places, they were intertwined and writhing in every way possible, moving in a slow, loving rhythm against the satin bed sheets. They rolled back and forth, kissed, pulled at hair, clawed at each others backs and moaned - screamed - out in passion. It was all going on in an almost agonizingly slow pace, all until they rolled over yet again so that Gerard was lying on his back with Frank straddling him and increasing the speed with every passing second, their skin making clashing sounds at contact. Frank’s head rested back on his shoulders and his eyes rolled back in his head as an unbelievably pleasurable spot was hit, and his hand shot out to his hand to rest on the moist window. His fingers slid downwards slowly, making a stretched hand mark as it went.
They moaned each other’s names and ‘I love you’s non stop as they both reached their peaks when the speed was at an almost unbearable pace. Spasms, screams and body fluids were all over, and they felt so content, so happy and so light headed. This, they thought, was truly heaven. Had the bomb gone off already?
When they were truly spent, they laid down sleepily in each other’s arms, waiting for the end to come.
“I love you, Frankie.”
“I love you too, Gee.”
Up on the deck the sky was now covered by a dark blue blanket, and the most of the panic amongst the moonlight-bathed passengers had calmed down. One could still hear a few profanities and some people still muttering declarations of love for each other, but most of them stood still in a painful silence. They had now ten minutes left to live.
There ran shivers though the gathered, silent mass of people every now and then. It wasn’t too cold, but it was still the slightest cold of darkness, and a mild breeze flew over the water. It created beautiful patterns on the still surface, but no one cared to notice.
One of the pairs still muttering was Ray and Bob. They had sat down on the ground, still in the front of the deck, leaned against the rail. Bob patted Ray’s back comfortingly, wanting him to spill the words he had tried to say for the past minutes. Ray was shaking, maybe from the chill air, maybe out for fear for the soon to come death, but mostly out of utter shock for the words he was now about to confess. Words he had thought, words he had promised, not to ever tell.
“My mom was away a lot when I grew up,” Ray started suddenly. It shocked Bob to hear the nervous, shaky twang that was Ray’s voice. Never had he heard the strong, confident guitarist in such a state.
“It was just me and my brother mostly, only taken care of by my dad when he wasn’t working. He was… he was an angry man, my dad. He held so much anger and defeat inside him all the time.” There was a pause when he broke into a silent sob before he managed to continue.
“One day, he was fired from his work. He was so furious when he came home, Bob, you have no idea. So, he… he… Oh God.” Ray started crying for real, and Bob hugged him into a close embrace. This have to be really bad, he though as he felt Ray shaking violently.
“He took out his anger. On… on me, and my brother,” Ray sobbed. It took several moments before he managed to say the final words. “He raped us. Several times. Over the time span of six years.”
They were both crying together, Bob repeating over and over again how sorry he was, how it wasn’t Ray’s fault, how much of a fantastic man he was.
“You are the best man I know, Ray,” Bob whispered.
“You are the best man I know. The most hard working, talented, kind-“
“-Stop.” Bob couldn’t handle this anymore. No one knew.
“Stop it, stop saying those words that aren’t true.”
“But it is true, Bob,” Ray said confused.
“No, it’s not. I’m just a stilly excuse for a man,” Bob said bitterly. It was true.
“How can you say that?”
“I raped a woman, Ray. Fucking raped her. When I was twenty. I was so desperate, and she had been teasing me all night. I.. I. She got us into this huge trial, but they believed me rather than her. No you know why I’m definitely not the best man you know.”
Ray was watching Bob in pure shock, ready to let out a shaky respond when he was interrupted by a high shriek.
“Look! What is that?!” A kid beside them screamed, pointing out into the darkness. Bob and Ray got up to see what he meant, along with all the other passengers on deck. A shuffling of hundreds of people moving broke the silence. They were all looking in the direction of the kid’s finger, trying to see what ‘that’ was.
And they saw.
“Is that… is that lights?” a frail little old lady whispered shakily. And damn was she right. Maximum a few kilometers in front of the ship, there was a whole ocean of shimmering and twinkling lights. They all watched in awe, wondering, and forgot all about that they now were supposedly in their last minute on earth. Just as they all realized that this wonderful scenery in front of them was land - a city - the speakers creaked again.
“Hello,” an urgent, panting voice spoke. It sounded nothing like the evil voice from last time. “This is the captain speaking. We’ve been hijacked. The situation is now under control, you're all safe. We are immensely sorry for all the fear you must have been experiencing the last half hour. You’ll all get your money refunded, of course. And all sorts of help. I hope you are now able to calm down and walk calmly back to your suites, where you will receive further information later. We have the situation under control and will now make a stop in the nearest town where the hijackers will be arrested and taken care of. I’ll be soon back.”
Alicia and Mikey had walked out on the deck and joined Ray and Bob, all staring at each other in blatant shock.
And though it seemed impossible by now, they got even more shocked when they went into Frank and Gerard’s suite ten minutes later along with an just awaken Brian to check if they were okay, finding their two friends naked, covered in come, tangled in the bed sheets, asleep in each others embrace on the bed.
Obviously, there are many things you discover when the curtain falls.
Yeah, what do you think? :D It's kinda weird and creepy I guess, but I really liked the idea. So I just wrote it for the sheer sake of it. Comments, con-crit and all that stuff is LOVE. (Silent readers are poos.)